10 BAD Ren Faire Pickup Lines

Is that a Turkey Leg in your tunic or….

Before I got married I will admit to the fact that one of the attractions of the Renaissance Festival was the women.  Beautiful, oddly dressed women that had no problem being flirted with by a pirate.  It was fun and if you were single is one of the single greatest places on the face of the planet.  Of course, if I am truthful, no substantial relationship ever came out of the many visits to the Ren Faires before my nuptials.  In fact, my wife was a Ren Faire Virgin until her first trip to the Georgia Renaissance Festival.

I love to people watch even now at the faires that we go to .  Seeing the guys trying to hit on the girls, trying to pick up the wenches and hoping that they will be successful is great fun.  Even better is watching the young men trying to pick up the Boothies and Rennies that are running the faire.  These amorous notions are usually met with kind words and a smile.  At worst they are rebuked by the other people working in the booths.

So, to that end I have worked out some pickup lines that you should stay away from if you are looking to pickup a Rennie, a Boothie or a Playtron at the next event you go to.

10 Pick Up Lines

  1. “I see you have a bodice chiller, do you have need of a bodice warmer?”
  2. “I know Ded Bob… personally.”
  3. “They have some fur lined handcuffs in that leather shop over there…”
  4. “Nice corset, do you need to be tied up?”
  5. “I don’t need a new sword, your beauty has cut me to the bone.”
  6. Said to the Beer-Wench:  “Where do you want my tip?”
  7. “Mind if I pet your furry-tail?”
  8. “I’m a pirate, I could use some booty.”
  9. “Do you want to have a look at what is under my codpiece.”
  10. Any line you decide to use from Shakespeare, cause trust me, YOU can’t pull that off.
And here is a bonus one:
“Baby, I will romance you like D’Angelo, love you like Raphael and do your hair like Scaramouche!”

– Bobaganush the Pirate