10 Olympic Events for the Ren Faire

*insert Olympic theme but make it more Renaissancey*

So the Olympics have been a part of my life since I was born.  I was hatched during the Summer Olympics of **76 and my father and the doctor almost missed the birth due to the fact that they were watching one of the events.  My wife and I have been watching the Olympics since the opening ceremonies (which had a very Steampunk feel during their interpretation of the Industrial Revolution) and losing sleep to stay up and watch as much of it as we can.

So I was thinking that we need to have a Ren Faire Olympics.  We need to have a set of games that are truly Rennie.  We need to have events that can be played at all Ren Faires from the Arizona Renaisance Festival to King Richard’s Faire in Massachusetts.  I would also think this calls for an international Ren Faire every four years with heats held during the season to determine whom is sent from each faire to represent them at the games.

Here is my suggestion for the games of the Renaissance Fetsival:

10 Events for the Renaissance Festival’s “I” Olympiad

  1. Archery – This one is obvious but we have to put a spin on it.  I think we should be shooting apples off of the heads of something. People will get upset if I suggest the archers use their children so We will let the archers pick something they value.  Potentially it could be their car, their record collection or a favorite piece of art.  They get to set the stacks and decide how good they really are.
  2. Jousting – This is a no brainer and would be our big event.  This is the track and field / boxing of the Rennie world.  Want to knowmore on my thoughts about jousting in the Olympics – click here.
  3. Jesting – I am envisioning this to be a stage act but it could be done in the street a-la street performers as well.  Based in comedy, the winner is measured when you pass the hat and see how much money you got from the judges.  We can finally find out the answer as to who is the funniest on the circuit:  Tortuga Twins, Ded Bob, Don Juan & Miguel, …
  4. Juggling – Not decided by the amount of money passed by the judges in the hat but instead by the number and variety of items that are juggled.  The more deadly the better and of course the winner will probabl;y have to whip out the fire because as we all know – everything is better with FIRE!  Barely Balanced, London Broil, Broon, Paolo Garbanzo – Get to practicing – everything is on fire!
  5. Belly Dancing – This could be one of my favorites.  I am not sure how you decide the winner but it would be one of the most attended events of the entire Rennie Games.  Stages and stages of belly-dancers, there could not be a better way to spend the afternoon.
  6. Sword-Fighting – Whether comedic or for actually points, there are no foils or epes allowed.  Real rapiers or large swords only.  Let’s call it the MMA of the Rennie games.
  7. The Cleavage Toss – This is for the gentlemen.  Like the ring toss carney game but with bigger rings… Well that might depend on the cleavage.  Either way, moving targets, because the women involved don’t get to know that they are being tossed at.
  8. The Kilt Check – This is for the ladies.  The first woman to find the kilted man that is going “regimental” and get back to the podium wins.  Again, the kilted lads do not know they are going to be checked.  This could even have a sponsor – hint hint – Stumptown Kilts!
  9. Wenching – This is for all the wenches at the fair, whether they be mead wenches, kissing wenches or of the washing well variety.  Wenching, though a hard to pin down talent will be a glorious addition to the Rennie Games.
  10. Pub Crawling – This is our marathon people.  You start at the first pub at the faire and you start drinking.  One drink at each pub and then a run to the next pub.  The last one standing is the champion.

Let me know if I have missed any games that should be added on.  Watch the Olympics while they are on and cheer on your country or your favorite.