10 Rejected Street Performances

But it’s a really good idea!

So, I am sitting here thinking about all the great street performers that I have seen at faires over the years:  the street urchin, the sleeping fiddler, The Raven, The Nickel Shakespeare Girls, Christophe the Insultor, etc.  I am a street performance junkie and I have wiled away many an hour watching the various street entertainers come and go at Renaissance Festivals over the years, it is truly one of my favorite things to do.

But I am wondering, for all the great acts that make it to the fairway at festivals across the country, what are the acts like that don’t make it, the ones that the faire owners just have to pass on? Here is a list of 10 busking ideas that just didn’t make the cut:

  1. Pin Hole Camera Photography – This is one of the oldest forms of photography.  Come see the artists set up his subject and start the exposure that might take hours to produce.  At the end of the several hour setting you will see a reproduction of the still-life on a very small canvas.
  2. Organ Grinder with a Gorilla – Like the traditional organ grinder.  The artists cranks the organ and the gorilla dances… or not.  What do you do to make a gorilla dance if they don’t want to?  And what happens when the organ grinder doesn’t grind fast enough to make the gorilla happy.
  3. Council of Nicaea Recreation – Canonization craziness.  Watch the council decide what books are going to be in the Bible.  Such legendary discussions as:  “You want to put the Song of Songs in the Bible, how are we going to sell that?” and “The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, I don’t think so.”
  4. Honorable Troupe of Jugglers in Training – This group of jugglers is still learning.  Watch them go from one ball to two balls in the space of a weekend.  By the end of the faire they might even be to the point of juggling… THREE balls.
  5. Chainsaw Swallowing – This is a great act but unfortunately, you only get to watch it one time.  The artist figured if you can juggle a chainsaw, why not swallow one.
  6. Fat Man Jello Wrestling – Think the Washing Well Wenches but with fat guys and Jello.  There’s always room for Jello.  Watch three sweaty, large men fall into Jello during their comedy act. A mud show – only edible.
  7. Competitive Bubble Blowing – Not exciting but man is it pretty.  They might even break out the multi-colored bubbles.  Come back for their later shows, the bubbles… they’re naked.  It is an R-rated show you will never forget, naked bubbles.
  8. One Person Dueling – Individual sword fighting at its best.  This artists comes out and challenges himself to a sword fight for saying disparaging commits about his own wife.  Hilarity ensues and you will never guess who wins.
  9. 2 Wheeled Uni-cyclist – He is the best two-wheeled uni-cyclist you will ever see.  He has the two wheelers built in Switzerland to precision designs.  Just make sure you don’t call it a bicycle, this is a uni-cycle with an extra wheel, that increases the difficulty.
  10. Two Dog’s Humping – Not so much an act as a HAPPENING.  This show changes at each performance and can happen anywhere!  You are never even sure if it is planned or just two stray dogs.

So, there you go.  Here are the street performers that got rejected by the various faires.  Think you can add to the list, feel free.