Garb Snark
Don’t Garb Snark, ok. There is no reason to run other people down because of their poor choices when it comes to costumes. There is no reason to put others down due to the fact that they don’t know whether they should be wearing tennis shoes with their slops or whether they should have a katana strapped to their side when they are wearing chainmail armor. The Garb Snark is the person in your group that makes fun of other people at the fair for the way their costumes look or how their costumes are made. All kidding aside, I do not mean when you pick on the poor slob that arrived in their Jedi best. Padawans at the Ren Fair should always be picked on. I also don’t mean making fun of the guy (12 years or older) in the Halloween costume. If your costume has a plastic mask and you are not a kid of trick or treating age then you should not be wearing a Halloween costume to the fair. The Garb Snark is a knit picker. They find that one small thing about the costume that is incorrect and pick it to death. Some examples:
- Do you see the buttons on his waistcoat? They would never have used bone on that material. They would have been brass.
- They would not have had that shade of red during the late middle ages. It would have been dark and should have been made by squeezing boysenberries during the fifth moon of Prima Nocta.
- His sword is nice but it doesn’t go with the dagger that he is wearing. If he is going to be a knight then he needs to pay more attention to his weapons.
If you have ever said the above statements or anything like them, then you are the Garb Snark. Try to avoid snarking. Try instead to focus that venom on those that deserve it: ninjas at the Ren Fair. For instance, the guy in the picture below is trying. He has on the poet shirt but with a pair of jeans and his sneaks. Even the inclusion of his trusty quarterstaff doesn’t really help that much. That being said, it is possible that this is his first or second fair and he is just buying his costume a piece at a time. 
Seriously, here are the things that you should point and laugh at when you attend a fair:
- People wearing just part of a costume and their civvies.
- Jedi
- Cosplay furries
- Ninjas
- And the ever elusive – Jedi-Ninja
I have no problem with you picking on people that you hang with at the fair about their costumes. If they are friends of yours, be sure to abuse them if their outfit is out of period or just plain wrong. But if you don’t know the person…. celebrate the fact that they are trying and find a constructive way to help them improve on the costume they have started. But if you see they guy wearing his civvies and a Roman helmet, kick his butt.
-Bobaganush the Pirate
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