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Posted by on May 31, 2012 in Editorial | 0 comments

10 Ways to Avoid the Heat at a Ren Faire

10 Ways to Avoid the Heat at a Ren Faire

10 Ways to Avoid the Heat at a Ren Faire

Huzzow, it is too freaking hot to be wearing plate mail.

Renaissance Festivals can be very hot places to be during the summer.  The sun is beating down, they are always outside and it can get very, very warm.  Take some of the faires that are still going on down south when the heat of summer really starts to inch up the mercury:  Georgia Renaissance Festival – the last weekend can be rough, Tennessee Renaissance Festival – middle Tennessee can in fact be very warm and though it is usually over by Memorial Day – hot is the word, and of course the Highlands Renaissance Festival in Kentucky.  Though you are still further north then Georgia and Tennessee – Kentucky can get very warm during June and July.

10 Ways to Avoid the Heat at a Ren Faire

  1. Start your own impromptu version of the Washing Well Wenches.  Lose the valuables and dive into the water.  Make it funny and pass the hat, who knows you might make enough to pay for the hospital bill when the good wenches come and dispense some soapy justice for stealing their thunder.
  2. If you don’t mind the smell and there is an elephant ride at your local faire, walk under the elephants, there is shade everywhere.
  3. Dress in Ninja Garb, you are covered from head to toe and you will therefore escape the sun. Of course,  get ready for a Viking to hurl you out of the faire at some point.  As we all know, ninjas are bad.
  4. Belly Dancers seem to wear the least clothing at a fair, just make sure you are not talked into a fire dance.
  5. Put on a truly R-rated show and let’s see some suntan-lotion being applied.. all over. This is a show we can all get behind, and get involved in.
  6. Join the Tortugas in their final show of the day and lose those shirts!
  7. If the air really is thinner at higher altitudes, then you might want to join the Barely Balanced troupe and try on the stilts, though at most faires, those would have to be really tall stilts.
  8. Mead!  Lots of cold mead.  No, I know the argument can be made that alcohol does not cool the body but I am telling you a cold glass of mead really helps when it is hot outside.
  9. Mud.  Mud is fun and mud is cool.  I beat if you ask Slappy, at the Nuttin but Mud Show, that he might let you take a dip.  But no nude-muddin’ people, that is just gross.
  10. Kilts.  Yes they are made of wool, but if you wear them traditionally, you are guaranteed to get a breeze going.

There you go.  Here are a few ways to get cooled off at the Ren Faire.  Let me know if you try any of them.  Let me see pics if you try any of them.  Especially if you rush the stage at a Mud show, let me see pics.

-Bobaganush the Pirate


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