Where Do I Put My Smokes?

I got no pockets…

I was hit with a good topic by the folks at Curio Collective (go LIKE them on facebook) –  tips for newbies like “codpieces aren’t pockets for your smokes.” To that end…


One thing to remember is that on most costumes you don’t have pockets.  So what is a faire lass or laddie to do?  You have to figure out some way to carry your stuff while you are in garb.

5 Places to Put Your Stuff

  1. Belt Pouch – The easiest solution is a belt pouch.  The belt pouch can take on many designs, from a simple drawstring bag to a hard-leather pouch designed for your belt and dyed to match your boots.  This is a necessity.  You will be miserable trying to carry all of your anachronistic drek around in your hands all day long.  Or if you happen to have a friend that is garb-less, and they brought a bag with them you are going to get tired of asking them for your stuff all day. If you are going kilted – then you still carry a belt pouch – you just call it a sporran.
  2. Hidden Pockets – Clothes did not have pockets, back in the medieval times and the renaissance time period.  It is possible though to make pockets in your costumes that are relatively invisible.  In my long vest, for instance, I had a pocket added on the inside of the vest with hook-and-loop fasteners at the top of the pocket.  Fits my wallet, keys and a cell phone so that I have more room in my pouch for other bits of pirate bling.
  3. The Mule – This is a friend, if I ever heard of one.  The Mule is a friend with a backpack or a big purse.  they become the holder of the stuff.  This is the most indispensable person in your traveling party.  This is the one person that you cannot piss off during your day or days at the faire (they have your stuff).
  4. A Big Hat – If you hat has enough room between your head and the crown, you can easily tuck your cash, your keys and your cell phone in it.  The hat is a great option to hide your stuff in when you don’t have a pocket.  Rennie hats for the most part are designed to be big and make a statement, if they can be functional as well – even better.
  5. Cleavage – This obviously is not an option for everyone but about half the attendees of the Ren Faire probably are doing this anyway.  Of course the amount of storage space in the cleavage is in direct proportion to the cleavage itself.

5 Places Not to Put Your Stuff

  1. A Fanny Pack – Do NOT wear a fanny pack with your garb.  I would go as far as saying, don’t wear a fanny pack at all.  The fanny pack worn over your costume is going to make you the target of some serious Garb Snarking.
  2. BigBoxMart Bag – I have actually seen this.  The plastic bag from any grocery store or BigBoxMart is not a good carrying device.  All of a sudden your carefully picked out pieces of garb are downgraded by the fact that you are toting a plastic bag with your iPhone in it.
  3. Modern Backpack or Purse – Much like the backpack, the modern backpack or purse does not improve the look of your garb.  It is easy enough to see why you might need to carry the backpack but I would still rather see you go haversack or satchel – much more Rennie.
  4. Your Underwear – Another one that I have seen.  This is usually the female version of the codpiece.  Ladies will tuck their necessities into the band of their underwear under the dresses.  And while I am not against this in concept, people have to take your money from you later in the day.  Get a belt pouch.
  5. Codpiece – This is not a pocket.  I repeat men, this is not a pocket.  The very thought of watching some dude fishing his smokes, his wallet, his keys or whatever out of codpiece makes me throw up a little.  And just thinking about it… don’t ever put your keys in your codpiece.